Your husband isn’t perfect. Neither are you. But telling him what’s wrong with him is a surefire way to destroy your marriage.
Men need to feel that their marriage is a safe zone that they can simply enjoy. They need to feel that they can be who they are, without being told that what they do is wrong. Because of that, you need to careful about how you open up a discussion about what isn’t satisfying you in your marriage.
I don’t recommend that you tell your partner: “I’ve been reading this book, and it says that we need to work on our relationship.” The phrase ‘work on’ implies that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. It will make him feel as if he’s not doing enough and put him immediately on the defensive.
Avoid telling him, “I think we need to talk about our marriage.” The ambiguity of the statement will lead him to expect the worse. As a result, he’ll close off emotionally rather than opening up to what you have to say.
Rather than criticizing your marriage, you tell your partner that you want to feel even closer and more connected to him. Tell him, “You know, I’ve been thinking, and I want to spend more time with you. I miss all the things we used to do when we were dating. Do you think we could find the time to talk to each other more?”
Men need to feel that their marriage is a safe zone that they can simply enjoy. They need to feel that they can be who they are, without being told that what they do is wrong. Because of that, you need to careful about how you open up a discussion about what isn’t satisfying you in your marriage.
I don’t recommend that you tell your partner: “I’ve been reading this book, and it says that we need to work on our relationship.” The phrase ‘work on’ implies that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. It will make him feel as if he’s not doing enough and put him immediately on the defensive.
Avoid telling him, “I think we need to talk about our marriage.” The ambiguity of the statement will lead him to expect the worse. As a result, he’ll close off emotionally rather than opening up to what you have to say.
Rather than criticizing your marriage, you tell your partner that you want to feel even closer and more connected to him. Tell him, “You know, I’ve been thinking, and I want to spend more time with you. I miss all the things we used to do when we were dating. Do you think we could find the time to talk to each other more?”
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